Jesus, Moses, and an old man go golfing. The first one to tee off is Moses. He smashes the ball and it is heading right for the water hazard before the green. Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball makes it to the green. Jesus gets up to swing, cranks it out, … Read more
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box. She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box … Read more
At the court of a small provincial town, a lawyer calls his first witness, an old woman around 80 and he asks her with a professional style: “Do you know me, Mrs. Rowland?” “Of course, I know you Mr. Smith! says the old woman. I know you since you were little, and I have to … Read more
After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away. They agree and the pastor greets the family. “Pastor,” Johnny says, “I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust.” “That’s right, Johnny, I did say that.” ” And I heard you say that when … Read more
A woman and her lover are in bed together when hubbies comes home. The woman jumps up, shoves the guy in a corner of the bedroom, rubs him down in baby oil and covers him in talcum powder. ‘Don’t move! You’re a statue!’ The husband comes up to the bedroom and inquires about the new … Read more
The man wanted the most expensive lady in the house The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. “May I help you?” she asked. “I want to see Penny,” the man replied. “Sir, Penny is one of our most expensive ladies. … Read more
Two men, Jim and John, were walking their dogs when they passed by a restaurant. “Let’s go in and get something to eat,” Jim suggested. “We can’t” responded John, “don’t you see the sign says NO PETS ALLOWED.” “Aah that sign,” said Jim “don’t worry about it” and taking out a pair of sunglasses, he … Read more
A man frantically calls the hotel desk from his room on the 11th floor. “Please come quick I’m having an argument with my wife and she says she’s going to jump out the hotel window. ” The hotel manager replies, “Sir I’m afraid that’s a domestic matter and the hotel and it’s staff are obligated … Read more
A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: ” Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty.. You’re crazy to go to Rome .. So, how are you getting there?” “We’re … Read more
My husband and I went through the McDonald’s driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’ I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.’ She sighed and … Read more