Fred and Mary get married but can’t afford a honeymoon, so they go back to mom and dads for the night. In the morning, little Johnny gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, He asks his mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. … Read more
The Mexican Maid asked for a pay rise. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked, “Now Maria, why do you want more pay?” Maria: “Well, Senora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increase. The first eez that I iron better than you.” Wife: … Read more
Two little old ladies, Connie & Evelyn, were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. The short one, Connie, leaned over and said, “Life is so boring. We never have any fun anymore. For $10.00 I’d take my clothes off and streak through that stupid, … Read more
We’ve all fantasized about the lavish things we’d do if we won the lottery and won millions of money. Lerynne West is one of the few lucky people who has really experienced winning hundreds of millions of dollars in the lottery, and what she chose to do with the money has touched the hearts of … Read more
Elsa, a 97 year old midwife, finally passed away after a long and happy life. When she arrived at the Pearly Gates, St Peter was standing there waiting for her. He said, “Welcome, Elsa. Do you have a last wish before you enter paradise?” “I do,” Elsa replied “I would like to return to Earth … Read more
A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, “Dear, there is something that I must ask you It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children.” Now I … Read more
A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife’s hand in his and said; “Beth, soon we will be married 30 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?” Beth replied, “Well Charles, I … Read more
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by … Read more
So I am at Walmart scanning and bagging my almost $300 worth of groceries while the employee that wants $15 an hour “monitors” and then this happened. Her – why are you double bagging all of your groceries? Me – excuse me? Her – you are wasting our bags! Me – if you don’t like … Read more
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married 10 times?” “Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great … Read more