An old woman took her husband to the doctor. The doctor checked the husband’s pulse, then told the woman, “I’m sorry, your husband is dead.” The woman was shocked. “I don’t believe it. Are you sure? I want to be absolutely sure, are there any other tests you can do?” The doctor responded, “I’m quite … Read more
A robber enters a bank, he pulls out a gun, and he shouts: “Everyone on the ground. This is a robbery!”. Immediately, everyone in the bank drops down with their hands on their heads except for one man reading a newspaper.The man lowers his newspaper and begins to stare at the robber with an amused … Read more
A woman wakes up in the middle of the night only to find her husband wasn’t there. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring … Read more
An Old Maid Was Still A Virgin In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: … Read more
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of … Read more
A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring. As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned. “Tell me,” she asked the elderly salesman “is there anything special I’ll have to do to take care of this ring?” With a fatherly smile, the salesman said, “One of … Read more
A cleaning old woman was applying for a new position. When asked why she left her last employment, she replied, “Yes sir, they paid good wages, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked. They played a game called Bridge, and last night lots of folks were there. As I was about to … Read more
AN OLD MAN WAS SELLING WATERMELONS. HIS PRICELIST READS : 1 FOR $3 AND 3 FOR 10$. A YOUNG MAN STOPS BY AND ASKED FOR ONE WATERMELON. “THAT WOULD BE 3 DOLLARS FOR ONE”, SAYS THE OLD MAN. THE YOUNG MAN THEN BUYS ANOTHER ONE AND ANOTHER ONE, PAYING $3 FOR EACH WHEN THE YOUNG … Read more
MICKEY HAD BEEN IN POLICE WORK FOR 35 YEARS. FINALLY SICK OF THE STRESS, HE QUITS HIS JOB AND BUYS 50 ACRES OF LAND AS FAR FROM HUMANITY AS POSSIBLE. HE SEES THE POSTMAN ONCE A WEEK AND GETS GROCERIES ONCE A MONTH. OTHERWISE, IT’S TOTAL PEACE AND QUIET: AFTER SIX MONTHS OR SO OF … Read more
A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word ‘fascinate’ in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.” The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word … Read more