One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.

His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.

The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in the butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out.

She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.”

“That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?”

The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there”